Church's sympathy for victims is "strained"

A letter I wrote to the Catholic Messenger, the newsletter of the Davenport, Iowa, diocese, in response to an article that was referenced in the Cedar Rapids Gazette, which indicated the church's sympathy for victims was becoming "strained."

I am writing regarding your editorial, Light at the End of the Tunnel, which was quoted in the Cedar Rapids Gazette. After I read the Gazette article, I fired off some angry e-mails to the Messenger, but later that evening Father David Hitch of Tipton sent me the entire editorial and I wanted to make a more thoughtful reply.

I am a survivor of sexual abuse by a priest. Therefore, when I read the quotation in the Gazette stating that your sympathy is “strained,” I was enraged. I have had time to process your entire editorial and would like to respond to two main points: the role the average Catholic played in creating this crisis (not scandal, please, but crisis), and the likelihood of its resolution.

While many Catholics were completely shocked by the revelations of priests sexually abusing children and young people, there is no way this could have happened without the complicity of a good number of ordinary Catholics. Patrick McElliott, the priest who assaulted me in 1979, had been sexually abusing females since at least 1946, we know through court documents. When he was in Waterloo in 1963, he sexually abused a girl, her family went to the bishop’s office, and they were threatened with excommunication if they talked about it. McElliott abused several other girls in Waterloo, and the archbishop sent him for treatment for alcoholism, then transferred him to another church in the archdiocese of Dubuque, where he abused more girls, and the cycle was repeated again and again.

How big of an area is the archdiocese of Dubuque? Do you honestly believe it is possible that, when a priest was transferred to a new church, nobody had friends or relatives that had heard of the priest’s habits? I know our culture didn’t like to talk about sexual abuse- and it sounds like you would like a return to that reticence- but I can’t believe that nobody knew. I think many people knew and warned the girls in their circle to keep away from him. I think, as long as it wasn’t happening to their own kids (and sometimes even when it did), people were perfectly willing to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear rather than rock the boat. I believe housekeepers, fellow clergy members, and others had to know about at least some of the abuse.

Regarding the light at the end of the tunnel: I sincerely wish that were true, that you were nearing that point. I wish you could just focus on the good things you want to do. (I wish that for myself, also, but unfortunately, I think I will probably struggle with some of the effects of this until the day I die.) But I don’t think you are anywhere near that point. Until ordinary Catholics look at the root causes of the crisis and decide to do something about it, not only will it not go away, but it will continue and more children and vulnerable adults will be the victims of sex crimes by priests.

When I began to deal with my abuse, I learned about two doctrines every Catholic should know, but I doubt most have ever heard of: Criminel Solicitations and Mental Reservation. Criminel Solicitations details how bishops are to handle it when priests sexually abuse children or adults. It centers around keeping everybody quiet, and tells the bishops they can threaten witnesses and victims with excommunication to enforce their silence. This is so evil I can hardly believe it, but it’s true. What victims need is the freedom to talk, to release their pain, not to make them choose between their faith and their healing. Mental Reservation, in essence, gives bishops and cardinals the right to lie in order to prevent the church from looking bad. I would urge you to learn more about these doctrines.

I will believe the Catholic church is sorry for the pain they have caused when I see the Pope publicly repudiate these damaging doctrines and ask forgiveness for all the harm they have caused.

I will believe that children and vulnerable adults are safe from the sexual abuse that I suffered when I see significant change in the Catholic church: an end to celibacy requirements, women accepted in the priesthood, and the sharing of power with laity. I quit the Catholic church years ago, but I wish I would see these changes because they would make sexual abuse less likely to flourish. Unfortunately, the culture of the church has only become more secretive since the 2002 revelations.

You may decry the release of the documents in LA, but I know as a survivor how very helpful it was to learn, through my attorney, the background of the priest who assaulted me. It helped my healing process to learn that there was nothing in particular about me that “caused” a holy priest to assault me, that it was, for him, pretty much a normal day.

I hope the Catholic church will heal so that more people won’t be sexually abused. But that will only happen if individual Catholics like yourself step up and hold the bishops, cardinals and pope responsible. Only then will you see that light at the end of the tunnel.

Sincerely,

Janet Clark